Girlies, here’s the thing about me, which I know you already know. I hate being busy. Ugh, that feeling of having to tick things off a list, the running on a hamster wheel trying to keep up with ourselves, or others, and the idea that our productivity is somehow linked to our worth as humans. BUT, I also have a passion for squeezing the zest out of life, for embracing all the opportunities that come our way, and feeling all the wonder, and learning and growing through those experiences. And they result in a frequent inner battle, between doing and resting. And sometimes that internal dialogue, that push and pull, leaves me exhausted in itself.
And while I also hate to resort to stereotypes, particularly about teenagers, it’s true that you’re infinitely better than me at just letting things float on past, and lazing around, taking what you need from the universe, and also taking the time you need to recharge. And I find myself watching, and learning and being led by you. You’re reminding me that I can lean in to the slow days. That I need to listen to my body more, and sometimes it’s OK to let an opportunity float on by. And so our chilly winter days have had a lot of just hanging out at home, interspersed with weekends of activity. And then more time to recharge, and just be.
I think we’re steadying the needle, on our three person scale, that responds to our varying needs, fills up our souls, and helps each of us to identify our own internal balance. Sometimes it gets thrown off, by illness or extra stuff at school, but I think we’re doing better, and isn’t that the point? That we just try. That we don’t feel the need to match up to someone elses idealised notion of perfection, we find our own ways to be.
I’ve always loved a good pyjama day, but I think in the midst of it all I forgot how soul filling they can be, so thank you for helping me to soak our “hanging out at home days” all up, and reminding me that there is imperfect perfection in slow winter days, and allowing myself to just be,
I love you, Mama, xxxx
Images from multiple slow winter days – January, February, March 2023.
This post is part of Artifact Motherhood, a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom or reflections on life here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and the generations to come.
Next please visit the wonderful Jessie Nelson
March 2023 | New Delhi | India